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Writer’s warning about constantly asking for help ignites conversations on self-reliance, boundaries, and emotional fatigue
A thought-provoking post by Nigerian writer and social commentator Onyeka Nwelueu has set social media abuzz after he warned about the long-term consequences of constantly relying on others for help. In a tweet shared on X (formerly Twitter), Nwelue wrote: “If you’re someone who always asks for help, you will wake up one day and nobody will pick your calls or reply your messages. People will begin to avoid you.”
The statement quickly gained traction, drawing widespread reactions from users who interpreted the message as a cautionary note on dependence, emotional exhaustion, and the importance of self-reliance. Many agreed with the sentiment, arguing that persistent requests for help especially without visible effort or reciprocity can strain relationships and lead to what they described as “compassion fatigue.”
Supporters of the view noted that while helping others is important, repeated dependence can become overwhelming, particularly in a society where many people are already grappling with personal, financial, and emotional pressures. Some users emphasized that learning to solve problems independently, when possible, builds confidence and preserves healthy boundaries in relationships.
However, the tweet also attracted criticism from those who felt it lacked empathy, especially in a country where communal support and shared responsibility are deeply rooted cultural values. Critics argued that asking for help should not be stigmatized, pointing out that economic hardship, mental health struggles, and systemic challenges often make self-sufficiency difficult. They warned that discouraging people from seeking help could deepen isolation and silence those genuinely in need.
Others attempted to strike a balance, suggesting that Nwelue’s message should be read as a call for moderation rather than total independence. They stressed the importance of combining personal responsibility with mutual support, urging people to be mindful of how often they lean on others while also encouraging compassion for those facing genuine hardship.
As the debate continues, Nwelue’s tweet has reignited broader conversations about boundaries, accountability, and emotional labor in modern relationships. The viral reaction highlights a growing tension between the ideals of self-reliance and community support in an increasingly demanding social and economic climate, with many users agreeing on one point: sustainable relationships thrive on balance, not burden.
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