Experts have urged parents to stop sibling rivalry and favouritism before they grow into bitter family disputes over property and inheritance.
The experts spoke during the latest edition of Perspectives with Simiat Abaru, which examined the topic, “Same Parents, Different Hearts: Can Parents Keep Siblings Together?”
Speaking on the programme, technology and cybersecurity expert and academic, Professor Teju Oyewole, said parents must recognise that children raised in the same home can have different personalities, experiences and needs.
He advised parents to stop using one child as a benchmark for another, stressing that fairness does not necessarily mean treating every child identically.
Oyewole urged parents to understand each child's individual circumstances while ensuring that every child feels loved and valued.
He also cautioned parents against speaking negatively about one sibling to another or using children as messengers during family disagreements, saying such practices could deepen resentment and damage sibling relationships.
Also speaking, Mrs. Titilola Akinlawon, SAN, stressed that sibling unity must be deliberately nurtured from childhood.
She noted that when children grow up feeling that one sibling is more loved, favoured or privileged than the others, such feelings can persist into adulthood and eventually manifest in disputes over family property and inheritance.
Akinlawon advised parents to have clear conversations with their children about family responsibilities, property and expectations while they are still alive, rather than leaving unresolved issues for their children to confront after their death.
The experts also examined the challenges of maintaining unity in polygamous families, particularly among children from different mothers.
Oyewole urged fathers in such families to serve as bridges between their children and avoid becoming channels for transmitting grievances from one household to another.
The guests further advised parents to build genuine relationships among their children beyond occasional family gatherings and digital communication.
They also discouraged the belief that birth order automatically confers superiority or lifelong financial responsibility.
According to the experts, the seeds of inheritance disputes are often planted long before inheritance becomes an issue, through favouritism, constant comparison, poor communication and unresolved childhood grievances.
The programme concluded with a call for parents to begin nurturing strong sibling bonds from an early age, recognising that while children may have the same parents, intentional parenting is required to ensure their differences do not become the foundation for lifelong division.
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